Mortimerian Tales - 50minutes of Bob Mortimer on the BBC's Would I Lie To You?

The genius of Bob Mortimer, and his brilliant stories on the BBC's Would I Lie To You?

Timings below so you can skip forward. My personal favourite, "Theft & Shubbery"

00:07 - I once set fire to my house with a box of fireworks.
06:50 - The police once ordered me to leave town because I was frightening the locals.
13:11 - This is Keith. He's my oldest friend, and when we were at school together, we hid a dictaphone in the classroom ceiling to confuse our teacher.
18:25 - This is the cushion that I used to carry my pet owl around on. I would have brought the owl, but he escaped last week.
23:45 - For five days I pushed my cat around in a pram, because it had sprained three of its ankles. 26:27 - As a teenager, I used to terrorise my neighbourhood with a game I invented called "Theft and Shrubbery".
31:45 - This is Michael, and after cutting his hair, I got a job on a campsite as a hairdresser.
37:54 - I have a digeridoo suspended from a tree in my back garden so when the wind blows in a certain direction, it parps soothing sounds of the outback through my bedroom window.
41:34 - I recently had to charm a spider out of my shoe by tooting a flute at it.
45:35 - I can break an apple in half with my bare hands.