Saturday 25 March 2017

What's Heavier; A Kilo Of Steel or A Kilo Of Feathers?


Bike Lane Hero

"You're in the bike lane, you're in the bike lane"


Mortimerian Tales - 50minutes of Bob Mortimer on the BBC's Would I Lie To You?

The genius of Bob Mortimer, and his brilliant stories on the BBC's Would I Lie To You?

Timings below so you can skip forward. My personal favourite, "Theft & Shubbery"

00:07 - I once set fire to my house with a box of fireworks.
06:50 - The police once ordered me to leave town because I was frightening the locals.
13:11 - This is Keith. He's my oldest friend, and when we were at school together, we hid a dictaphone in the classroom ceiling to confuse our teacher.
18:25 - This is the cushion that I used to carry my pet owl around on. I would have brought the owl, but he escaped last week.
23:45 - For five days I pushed my cat around in a pram, because it had sprained three of its ankles. 26:27 - As a teenager, I used to terrorise my neighbourhood with a game I invented called "Theft and Shrubbery".
31:45 - This is Michael, and after cutting his hair, I got a job on a campsite as a hairdresser.
37:54 - I have a digeridoo suspended from a tree in my back garden so when the wind blows in a certain direction, it parps soothing sounds of the outback through my bedroom window.
41:34 - I recently had to charm a spider out of my shoe by tooting a flute at it.
45:35 - I can break an apple in half with my bare hands.



Wednesday 22 March 2017

Ooh, That Sounds Familiar : 10 : Ed Sheeran "Shape Of You" (2017) vs TLC "No Scrubs" (1999)

It's not very important, but it dawn on songwriters Kandi Burruss, Tameka Cottle and producer Kevin Briggs - how much Ed Sheeran's global smash hit "Shape Of You" (2017) sounds like the global smash hit "No Scrubs" they wrote and produced for TLC in 1999.

Maybe another to be filed under "Talent Borrows, Genius Steals (Shits Copy)".

Well, actually, according to this news item in Stereogum, they've even been given writing credits. A happy ending. Anyway, you decide for yourselves;









Uncanny. Only so many notes and words to go around I suppose.

See also Ooh, That Sounds Familiar : 1 : U2 "With Or Without You", and Ooh, That Sounds Familiar : 2 : Radiohead "Creep" and Ooh, That Sounds Familiar : 3 : Jamie T "Zombie" and Ooh, That Sounds Familiar : 4 : Mark Ronson "Uptown Funk" vs The Really Wild Show Theme and Ooh, That Sounds Familiar : 5 : The Stone Roses "All For One" vs Dogtanian & The Muskerhounds / The Double Deckers Themes and Ooh, That Looks Familiar : 7 : Larry Griswold (1951) vs Vladimir Georgievsky (2015)
and Ooh, That Looks Familiar : 8 : Abba "Waterloo" (1974) vs The Foundations "Build Me Up Buttercup" (1969) and Ooh, That Sounds Familiar : 9 : Star Wars "Imperial March" (1980) vs Mary Poppins "A Spoonful Of Sugar"(1964)



Friday 17 March 2017

Ooh, That Sounds Familiar : 9 : Star Wars "Imperial March" (1980) vs Mary Poppins "A Spoonful Of Sugar" (1964)

It's not very important, but it dawned on me - how much the menacing Star Wars "Imperial March" (1980) for iconic villain Darth Vadar sounds like the sickeningly sweet Mary Poppins classic "A Spoonful Of Sugar" (1969).

Maybe another to be filed under "Talent Borrows, Genius Steals (Shits Copy)".




Uncanny. Only so many notes and words to go around I suppose. **Update: I've been informed by "Old Man" Joe, that this is known as "parallel key modulation", he goes on (he does, but to explain this further he says "Most Depeche Mode songs use them liberally, luring the listener into a false sense of calm and wellbeing (major) then plunging them into a chasm of death and despair (minor)." There we go.

See also Ooh, That Sounds Familiar : 1 : U2 "With Or Without You", and Ooh, That Sounds Familiar : 2 : Radiohead "Creep" and Ooh, That Sounds Familiar : 3 : Jamie T "Zombie" and Ooh, That Sounds Familiar : 4 : Mark Ronson "Uptown Funk" vs The Really Wild Show Theme and Ooh, That Sounds Familiar : 5 : The Stone Roses "All For One" vs Dogtanian & The Muskerhounds / The Double Deckers Themes and Ooh, That Looks Familiar : 7 : Larry Griswold (1951) vs Vladimir Georgievsky (2015)
and Ooh, That Looks Familiar : 8 : Abba "Waterloo" (1974) vs The Foundations "Build Me Up Buttercup" (1969)



Ooh, That Sounds Familiar : 8 : Abba "Waterloo" (1974) vs The Foundations "Build Me Up Buttercup" (1969)

It's not very important, but it dawned on me - how much Abba's 1st single and Eurovision winning belter "Waterloo" (1974) sounds like The Foundations "Build Me Up Buttercup" (1969).

Maybe another to be filed under "Talent Borrows, Genius Steals (Shits Copy)".



Uncanny. Only so many notes and words to go around I suppose.

See also Ooh, That Sounds Familiar : 1 : U2 "With Or Without You", and Ooh, That Sounds Familiar : 2 : Radiohead "Creep" and Ooh, That Sounds Familiar : 3 : Jamie T "Zombie" and Ooh, That Sounds Familiar : 4 : Mark Ronson "Uptown Funk" vs The Really Wild Show Theme and Ooh, That Sounds Familiar : 5 : The Stone Roses "All For One" vs Dogtanian & The Muskerhounds / The Double Deckers Themes and Ooh, That Looks Familiar : 7 : Larry Griswold (1951) vs Vladimir Georgievsky (2015)

US Train Pulls Into Station In Snow-Motion

Hilarious pun, commuters get a face full of the white stuff.

Jungle Football Practice


Tuesday 7 March 2017

Do YOU Have A Super Power? Can YOU HEAR If Water Is Hot or Cold?

Excuse the clickbait headline - but really, you can; especially if you make the Tea a lot, like I seem to.

Anyway, here's the test you can take, and the science behind it; share this now before it appears on shite newspapers and they get ad revenue (I don't).


H/t Beta

Next Level Ping Pong (Table Tennis) Skills

Definitely worth watching past the initial 30seconds. Probably something someone will copy and attempt on a X-Country Has Got Talent type of program soon.


Like Table Tennis? Here's a 91 shot rally - though why the bloke in the yellow didn't just back spin the ball like a drop shot I don't know.


And here's the Mythbusters firing a Ping Pong ball at 1100mph. Deadly.


Wednesday 1 March 2017

Don't Post Images Of Your Laminate / Crew Passes On Social Media - EVER

Yes, it's tempting.

You're lucky enough to be at a big show, working in some capacity and you want to show off, tell all your friends - it's what Social Media is for, right?

Er no. You are likely to be fired.

I know several that have been. I know some that have been taken to court. Just don't do it.

Watch how easily these two make fake working passes from this Instagram post, a wristband (like this one), then simply walk into the secret "we're-playing-Glastonbury-2017" Foo Fighters show in Frome.

Fortunately, these two just wanted to see the show, they didn't try and get backstage / onstage.

But, following the awful events at the Ariana Grande concert on the 22nd May, this message needs to be repeated.

DO NOT POST IMAGES OF YOUR LAMINATE / CREW PASS ON SOCIAL MEDIA - EVER.

Imagine if Salman Abedi had also created a pass from a social media post, walked past security and detonated his device inside the arena?

Yes, he could've bought a ticket, but the pass would've allowed him to roam anywhere.

So if you see a friend or contact posting images of passes on social media, tell them off. Please. Let's make this something you just don't do on social media.

Donate here to support families of those killed and injured in the Manchester Arena attack, or text ‘LOVE’ to 70507 to give £5.

To see how they made fake passes, skip to 1:30.



It's not about the promoter losing money. The last thing you want at a show is a nutjob with a pass; ask Noel



Or Robbie



But don't mess with Keith.



Here's the image they photoshopped - it's still on Instagram;


H/t UK Touring Crew **Updated Friday 1st June**